I did something that I normally avoid doing on Saturday night... I participated in Karaoke night. My voice is very Meh'al... and there really wasn't any Meh'al on the list. So I did some old Bon Jovi... the oldest Metallica they had... and the Safety Dance. Everyone who was subjected to my singing, I apologize, I know it had to hurt!

The story that is told too often... girl meets boy... girl is unhappy. girl dumps boy, and meets new boy. Girl is happy with boy, and gains weight. Girl becomes unhappy for various reasons, dumps boy, loses weight, then repeats the cycle. screw off every single one of you that's like that.

I'm not bitter. Wait... yes I am.

3 Big Birthdays today. Stephen King, Chuck Jones, and H. G. Wells. We can put them all together and we would get a terrifying story about snoopy locked in the dungeounous basement of a remote cabin with a dangerous clown... and during that time they would jump to the future where the morlocks would attempt to eat Snoopy, but then an alien invasion would occur, and the ending would be a twist... charlie brown was brought back to life in the pet cemetary, but now he's evil.

Happy Nagasaki Day!!!

Oh, and happy Birthday Gillian Anderson. It's great that we can celebrate massive destruction. Because now we are in the friendlier day and age of "percieved threats" and bad intelligence spurring invasions. I got some intelligence that my next door neighbor has a lawn killing chemical at his disposal. This could ruin the livelyhood of my quarter acre country... so I'm going to invade and occupy his quarter acre... as a preemtive strike. If this was world war 2... it'd be easier, we'd just both rush to try to build the biggest fireball we could and drop it on each other.

I'm at work... it's kinda slow this morning. I'm cleaning out my office, preparing it to move to my new office... where all hell will break loose. They're putting 3 of us in the same office, and I'm pretty sure that the lady that's going to share the office with me will get real tired of my work style, real fast. We'll see.

You all thought my bitching about Doom 3 was done, right? Well it's not. After playing for a few days, I have decided, John Carmack is a washed up hack with no fresh ideas. Here's my qualms... they obviously TRIED to make the game scarier than it would have really been. Case and point. The world is the FUTURE, where men have colonized Mars, have matter transmuting rays, and routine space flights from earth to mars... and someone forgot how to tape a fucking flashlight to the gun.. or even hold the flashlight with one hand, and the pistol with the other like modern cops do. After playing for awhile, I'm no longer scared, since I no longer care if I die, there's nothing to care about... no women on mars that I've seen yet... just lots and lots of corridors, and failing lights. To make matters worse, throw in multiplayer. Remember Duke Nukem 3D, for DOS? that game was way better than this one. well, it really comes down to creativity, and for Doom 3, they seemed to really just want to remake Half-life on mars. Which will be sad since most companies will likely license the half-life 2 engine, and laugh loudly at Doom 3's shoddy maximum of 4 player networked support. which is odd... Every game I have lists on the outside of the box how many players it supports on a network... BattleField Vietnam states clearly "(Internet/Network) 2-32 players" while Doom 3 says "Internet (TCP/IP), and LAN (TCP/IP) play supported" Good job there guys. I think I might return it, since it really wasn't worth the $55. Besides, REAL games are coming out soon.. like Half life 2! and Star Wars - Battlefront!!! I am REALLY looking forward to battlefront, a battlefield 1942 type game in the star wars universe, apparantly well done as well from the pre release videos I've seen. The only thing that might mar it is that it's being released on the PS2 as well as the PC... and from what I've seen.... PS2 programming... ends up making the PC version suck. But I'll give them the benefit of the doubt since I have no reason to doubt pandemic studios at this time. Well.. I can keep you posted on my gaming news later, I have to run.

Doom 3! I mean.. half life... no.. it's Doom 3

I picked up Doom 3 yesterday, and let me say... this game is scary. VERY scary. The Graphics are GREAT. The use of darkness, is totally frightening. This is where the good things I have to say about it end.

I'm thinking of a game, it starts off where you travel to an underground facility, where strange scientific experiments go on. Something goes wrong, and it opens a portal where unearthly creatures spew out, easily taking over humans, and quickly overtaking the complex, and you must fight your way out. You've played that game before right? YES, it was called Half-Life. Well... now you get play it again, the only difference is that now it's scarier... and the graphics are a bit better.

Not to take anything away from Doom 3... I haven't gotton very far in it yet, it's just that so far, it reminds me Way more of half-life, than it does a doom game.

But don't get me wrong, overall I really like it, it's very terrifying, and it makes me jump, and gives me nightmares. So you should get it!

life sucks
 
It's true, life sucks.   I never wanted to believe it.   But over and over again it does.   I am apparantly getting stuck with a lot of bills I can't afford...  And on top of it... my workplace has turned into the movie "Office Space" complete with consultants that are attempting to lay you off.  This sucks big time... I only hope that Jackie feels less alone with this post.

Busy week

I took a vacation from work... so I worked harder on other stuff... I tried cutting baseboard and such for the house... I pretty much failed... it doesn't fit quite right.. and I spent a lot of time doing it. I still have so much more... I need to buy a nailgun before going any further... the manual nailing... just isn't working.

On the bright side, I got tons of flying in... I'm up to 36 hours. I need to think about scheduling my requirements soon. so fairly soon I'll be flying places, seeing things and visiting peoples. gimme a yell if you want me to visit you!

Bad Days

So, I had a bad day... but the topper for the bad day just happened a little bit ago. I went to meet some co-workers/friends at a bar... I had, a beer. It was a slightly larger beer than a normal beer... but still just A beer. I had a rough day... my boss yelling at me, things broken that shouldn't be broken... busy with lots of things... pressures... and I go and relax.. and this one beer... made me feel SOOOO much better... that was.. until we were leaving... and suddenly my state of mind was under question. One guy was like, "Are you okay to drive?" mind you this is the same guy that constantly drinks 6-8 drinks in a sitting then races home... And then he just assumed I was drunk... I told him to fuck off. Then he said, "Don't be stupid." to which the only response is... "Fuck you" which I admit, makes you sound drunk... but the reality was... I was just feeling allright for the first time in a week... and he fucking killed it... it's dead... Apparrantly I'm not allowed to fucking feel ok. By the amount of profranity I used... you might assume I'm a little pissed off... well I am. I don't understand why I have to take it from every direction. Why people have to kick me when I'm already waaaay down. Well whatever.. tomorrow's going to suck too, so I might as well get a fucking helmet and get on with it.

Titles

I met this instructor the other day. She had recently earned her PhD. She was frustrated at the lack of clip art on the PC's in her classroom. I attempted to explain how the drives were already at 75% capacity... and to load them up anymore would be unwise for the already poor performance of those machines. Well, she seemed okay with that... but I referred to her as Ms. to which she corrected me and said, it's Doctor Mr. . To which I responded, that's Captain . Since I did my first solo as PIC, I can technically call myself Captain now. Well... she blew that off... and kept calling me Mister . I didn't correct her... I just refused to acknowledge her title. It was quite surreal. She kept correcting me though... the nice thing about my title, is that it's a skill/ownership title... any boat owner can call himself Captain. The sad thing about her title is that it implies a level of knowledge.... and if she had any of that, then she wouldn't want to load the machine up with 1.2 GBs of clip art.

Life in Hell

I worked my ass off yesterday. I had like 20 problems with PC's at work, I fixed them all. Then I had to go to flight school... So I went there, almost half asleep the whole time... then went home. There was no joy for me entering my abode... I cooked some dinner, and went upstairs.

On the downside, I'm in this band, and all they want to play is like... classic rock. They asked me to name songs I want to cover... and every song... they said is too hard. My feeling is that if it only takes 2 minutes to learn... chances are... it's boring. Don't get me wrong... everyone loves Judas Priest's Breakin' the Law.... but if you actually enjoy the song... you probably heard it too many times already. Anyway, I backed down off my Helloween Covers.. and switched to Manowar/Savatage covers... Blind Guardian would be too hard for them I think... but it'd be cool as all hell.

Anyway, life isn't really hell... I could live without contradictions in it though. For example, I own an airplane, and am well on my way to my private license... but some people say they hate flying so they won't ever go up for a ride. Those same people that hate flying, really want to go places like Japan, or australia, or New Zealand... which says to me... that they don't mind flying, they just never want to do it with me. Of course, when that person is close to you... it tends to hurt emotionally. Well.. that's all for today... I'll be better tomorrow.

First Solo

I got to take my first solo flight this Sunday... It was nerve wracking... yet very cool. I was just nervous. I took off after the instructor jumped out, and as I climbed the gravity of the situation hit me, and I just kept repeating, "oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit" Then, I radioed in my downwind, and I started to calm down. I was too nervous on the decent, I set it down a little harder than I like to, but it was still acceptable, it wasn't a slam. The next 2 landings were much better, and I think I'll get better over time at the landing thing. My girlfriend was kind enough to photograph the event, so now I have pictures to keep forever. Then we went out to eat at a good pizza place. I love the stuffed pizza there, it's so great. Ah yes.. Saturday night/sunday I was out with the astronomy group, I took some great pictures that night... it was super clear, you could see the outline of the milky way, I was pleased. Well, I'm back off to work, talk to you all later.

I need a vacation

Man, work is kicking my ass hard. I need a vacation already. I've come to the point, where I take mini-vacations in my head. I went through this cool forested canyon in an airplane in my head... it was scenic.. the sad part is.. when I was interrupted, instead of snapping out of the dream... the wing burst into flames and I started plummeting to the ground... all I could hear were echos of my name being called... as I raced towards the ground ablaze. hitting the ground with earthshattering force, tree's exploding into splintering shards that hurl with such force that Bambi's mother is struck and dies, and all the creatures of the forest run in fear with debris flying everywhere I see every detail until I snap violently out of my imagination back into real life. disoriented I try to catch up real fast, but I just look like a dumbass. so I get back to work as soon as possible.. only to find that I'm now fighting a dragon in midieval england, attempting to save the maiden... a fierce battle rages on, as I duck and cover from the fire breath, then attempt to strike. The true awe and terror of the size and ferocity of the dragon is beyond the scope of the movies. I ride my trusty steed to engage the beast in high speed warfare. The Dragon's size dwarves my steed, as it swoops down from high above, it opens its jaws which are large enough to fit a Chevy Suburban inside of it with room to spare... just then... a ghostly voice calling my name distracts me, my horse jumps, throwing me into the jaws, the crushing force mashing me to a semi-liquid state... as I snap out of my horrifying death, I am very out of it.. a coworker asks me a question and all I can respond with is, "aren't dragons huge?" they think I'm nuts... and go about their business.. meanwhile I'm getting upset.. everytime a nice daydream is interrupted... my brain kills me off in some gruesome way. So I try not to daydream again... but I can't help it.. the boredom and sleepyness overwhelm me again... where will I go now?

Sunday, Sunday, Someday!

Heya all..it's sunday. today's the day I go to the airstrip for my 2 hour lesson... I filled out the written solo exam, so today, I might solo.. it's also possible that I won't. regardless, it's a huge day for me. My only problem is the total lack of interest everyone close to me has. Noone's come out to see me fly... it's only 2 minutes from my house, and my girlfriend hasn't even seen it fly... It's kinda depressing. At the same time I think I'm accomplishing things that only a small percentage of people accomplish... I feel that no one close to me cares. dillemmas dillemas... Plus the whole fear thing gets to me too... no one wants to ride in it, because it's dangerous... yeah.. dangerous.. considering the odds are 1:8000 to die in a car crash.. I mean think about how few people you know... then think about how many people you directly know, or inderctly know who died in a car accident... if there's one person for every person that reads this blog... that's a lot. Now, think about single engine planes... you probably don't know many people that fly them, or fly in them... so you probably don't know anyone who has died. I had a hard time finding odds, I found several statistics which I calculated the least favorable ods from, which are, 1:1,000,000. hrmm.. 1:8000 vs 1:1,000,000... why the hell are people afraid to fly again?

I think people believe firmly in one fallicy above most others.. they feel they have control. They think they can do things to prevent their death. They think they can drive "defensively." Pilots go through a serious medical every 24 months... it's unlikely a plane will crash due to a pilot's medical condition. Now.. ANYONE can drive a car.. so you're driving up the road, grandpa 80 year old has a heart attack collapses on the accellerator unconsious. You're driving up the road... "Devensively" a car comes speeding up over the hill 1.25 seconds later it hits your car head on killing you... but really.. you had control over that. At least, you believed it before you died. Random alcohol tests are also common at airstrips.. you can't fly within 8 hours of consuming any alcohol.. with a car, they don't lay it out so simply.. they have a whole alcohol content system. So the chances are likely that you will encounter drunk drivers. People tend to think losing an engine is certain death... not in the least. Pilots train for engine loss. If no airfield is within the glide path... you find an empty field, or completely empty rural backroad.. which are likely things to find, you can probably even put the plane down without damaging it at all.

I felt I needed to rant on that... specifically becuase so many drivers think they're above the statistics... or that those statistics don't apply to them becuase they're such safe drivers. Basically those people have a know-it-all attitude, but don't fully understand the concept of flying, thus they fear it.. but it's probably good that they don't like flying, because if they did learn.. their attitudes would likely get themselves killed.

Black, white, and the genius behind it

Do you ever get offended when people call you "white"? I don't. However, I think if you're going to describe someone by their skin color... you need to get it right. I mean, it doesn't need to be completely accurate, not the crayola 1000 crayon box accurate... but really... white? maybe my teeth. Am I albino? No... I'm kinda peach colored, which is closer to a pink. I mean... If we meet blue aliens, will they be confused at our confusing color arrangements when dealing with people? will we call them greys? I don't know about you... but I think we're all really stupid. I had an interesting conversation with a "black" guy the other day, apparantly if you refer to a black man that is your friend, as a black man... he'll feel that's an appropriate description... however, if you're referring to your coffee as "black" in front of a group of African Americans that want to pull the race card on everything, you end up having to explain yourself. The conversation went something like this, I de-ebonicized this conversation, the best I can.

Annoying kid - "man, we don't go around complaining about all the whites do we?"

me - "coffee?"

Annoying kid - "Don't be a smartass, you know what you were talking about!"

me - "Yeah, coffee."

Annoying kid - "I heard you spouting off about black this, and black that."

me - "Yeah... COFFEE"

Annoying kid - "Quit lying you racist and tell the truth"

me - "Next time, I'm getting a Mountain Dew, because people are WAY too touchy by the coffee cart."

Annoying kid - "Don't walk away from me when I'm talking... get back here racist "

As I continued walking down the hall, he was still shouting... I of course am now fairly sure of one thing, that man is far more racist than I am... Had he been asking for saltines in the cafeteria and been asking for crackers... I don't think anyone would pull a race card on him... but because I asked for my coffee black... I got accosted.. next time I go to the cart.. I'm getting one of those foofy latte's... those don't even come black... Stupid Coffee of the Day.

Happy Birthday Henryk Tomaszewski!
Yup, it's that time of year again, Henryk's birthday. I faithfully celebrate this day every June 10th... because really... where would the world be without posters that were apparantly inked by an entire kindergarten class. Oh... and it helps if some dumbass art curator thinks they're great. And he was a mime... tell me that shouldn't be classified as a disorder... yeah, one day, he just slipped into pantomime, I would imagine his friends saying. Well, now that I'm done ripping on a total stranger, there's just nothing special about today. Tomorrow however is jacques Cousteau's birthday. I love ocean life... I love it more when served with butter, or lightly breaded. mmm... ocean life. I have marlin steaks in my freezer that I've been meaning to break out... but I need to defrost them before cooking them, which requires planning... which is not what I do for dinner. oh, speaking of marlin, there was this great story of a fisherman, who hooked one, was reeling it in, and the thing jumped out of the water and impaled him. For 3 days he was impaled to the deck of his boat, by a swordfish... a 500lb, now rotting swordfish. Then rescuers found him a few days later, still alive, he was saved... but man... that would suck... a lot. So if you're having a bad day, just remember.. at least you weren't impaled by a swordfish to the deck of your boat, with no one around. Unless that's why you're having a bad day... then it just sucks to be you.

Posting for posting's sake

I haven't updated... but, I am now... so shut up. I mean it! This is an update for no reason, other than to fill space up. look at my space wasting... wohoo! So that incompitent girl at work... QUIT! WHY do you quit a job you can't get fired from? She had a new contract! And her idiot husband marches into the HR office and he's all... Terminate her and give her a severence package... our HR director firmly stated... severence packages don't happen.. she can take the contract.. or she can quit, but the only way she gets money is with the contract... it's a lot like working for satan, but there are less ways to get screwed out of your soul here. Anyway, don't do drugs with republicans... and don't pass the weed to a democrat, cause the asshole won't inhale.

Dillemmas

Let's say that you knew something... something big... something about your parents... something criminal. Now lets say, this activity, that you knew about... was all carried out in your name, all before you were 21. Do you see a lawyer? Do you let it go? Your relationship with your parents may not be the same as mine. Did your mom break a chair over your head when you were 20 years old and then improperly evict you from the house leaving you with a minimum wage job, no car, and classes that you can't get to that you eventually had to drop out of? most of you should have said no. So now... you get out of the house... you make a good living on your own... your work pays for the rest of school.. Then your out in life... and decide to persue a dream... then your life turns to shit... you find you may soon have way more bills than you can pay for... so you ask your mom for a little help, who laughs at you, and only wants to help if she can have a thousand strings attached. Now let's say... that even though your dad is spineless... never stuck up for you... never helped you... and never defended you... you still love him. Seeing a lawyer about your mother's account abuses and continuing obsession with controlling some aspect of your life, would put a damper on him. The same time, your sister, allthough less brainwashed than before... is still brainwashed... so she won't talk to you anymore either if said legalities are persued. Then what? I need advice beyond the experience of most people, this truely sucks.

Non-Hangover Hangovers

I got in my plane today with my CFI, who said... "allright, ready?" And I said "yeah! it's beautiful out!" So he hands me this piece of plastic that looks like an oversized ridiculous tennis hat. He called it.. the hood. Anyway, so this hood makes it so you can't see over the instruments without kinking your neck all wierd... and forces you to fly instruments only, or IFR. Well.. I wasn't really IFR.. my CFI was saying turn here.. turn there ect... but anyway... he kept telling me to put my chin down, and close my eyes and kiss my ass goodbye... so I'd do 2 of the 3 things... and then he would say, "Okay, Recover!" I'd look up at my instruments and find... my plane was pointed straight down! so I backed the throttle up and pulled up pretty satisfactorily... then he did another.. this time... I was straight up... then the plane stalled... So I tried to remember the whole power on climb stall thing... and just decided to screw it and throw in ten degrees of flaps, hit the throttle and point the nose down until it sped up... apparantly that was close to correct, he said nothing. When he says nothing, it's good... when he says "good" it was perfect... when he makes a pointer... it means you messed up bad.. anyway.. after a half hours worth of pointers... ahem... we were back at the airstrip... I did a really good landing... barely felt it... I'm getting better at landing. I used to slam the plane down... that was scary...

So this Cessna pilot elitist was telling me how much better his 172 was than my piper Cherokee... so I let him go through his schpeel about how his 172 cruises at 123kts, and burns 8 gallons of fuel an hour, and on and on.. and how the pipers cruise at 115kts, and burn 8-10 gallons of fuel an hour, and how pipers don't have autopilot, or air conditioning... ect...
So I let him finish before telling him the bad news... the bad news being... my cherokee... cruises at 127kts... burns 8 gallons of fuel an hour... HAS an autopilot... HAS an air conditioner... and cost half of what the same year 172 cost. Then I put the kicker in... I told him... and every cessna pilot would sell their soul to get a piper or a mooney in a heavy crosswind... He was properly shut up, and the mechanic told me, "Good job!"

Okay.. sorry for being so aircraft oriented today... I'll come up with something more philosophical tomorrow.

MP3's and R2-D2

I'm going to start calling MP3's, Empeethrees. I really want to be like the first retard that decided he was going to "shorten" R2-D2's name to "Artoo." I mean, really... R2... it's waaay too much to type, or write in a script, and then no one knows if you're talking about R2-D2... or R2-D6... and some idiots still think R5 units are R2 units. so I suppose, if Wedge's R5 ever became popular, you'd see it written as Arphive.. or something equally as idiotic. While I'm on the subject, which is apparantly a touchy subject with me, why would someone write out "threepeo"?? Is "threepeo" saving something over C3PO? So.. to jump on this esteemed bandwagon of scholars, I will now rename my entire MP3 collection... every extention will change from *.MP3 to *.empeethree just to piss people off... now everyone will need to register *.empeethree with their chosen player of "empeethrees." that would be coull. Well.. I'm out for a little while... see you all tomorrow.

Tales from far away

It occurred to me, that for every star in the galaxy, and every star in countless other galaxies, there are even more planets. As we've found here, life seems to find a way to evolve in the harshest of conditions. I know I used the word evolve, and the kids from Kansas aren't going to know what the hell I'm talking about, because it's way more probable to them that instead of cellular evolution, a mystical god that was created only 5000 years ago created the Earth (even though civilisations that are older than 5000 years had other explanations) and then vanished returning only to wipe out mankind a few times in extreme wrath. Where was I going? oh yeah! So life evolves in extremly harsh places. and the life that evolves in the nice places, is dumb. Look at chickens... they're birds... BIG fat birds... it's like they evolved specifically to become food. they can't really fly... they're not very fast... turkeys too. and look at fish... little fish are just food for bigger fish... and bigger fish are food for bigger fish... and then the biggest fish, they eat microorganisms... go figure. I was going somewhere with that... but I lost it.

Anyway, I should really get back to work, I enjoy my time here, slaving to the master. Actually.. it's been interesting since my annoying co-worker has stopped showing up to work... I think she's going to get fired, which is bad because it's really hard to get fired from this place. Like.. if I came to work drunk everyday, it would take them a full year to get rid of me. I don't... but if I did... it would.. you know.. just read back up, I don't want to type it again. okay, I'm officially nuts... see you all on the dark side. Oh and if you haven't seen Berger and Jackie's place yet... it's cool! It reminds me of happier times... from the '80s! it's a happy place, don't forget to roll your pants before entering.

I finally have something to write about.

Today... in my front yard, someone placed a tiny American flag. I know there are worse things, but now I have an awkwardness, I want to take it down... but if I do everyone will know. My reasons are not that I'm so much anti-america, as I am pro-world. I don't approve of America's tactics in world politics, and at the same time I abhor belligerent nationalism. Extreme nationalism USED to be one of the criteria webster's dictionary used to identify fascism. The definition changed over the years, specifically to sound less and less like America. The person who left it... a coldwell banker by the name of Liz Manasco phone number 847-816-5900 cell-847-682-3467 email address lmanasco@coldwellbanker.com direct dial (847)-990-3140. At any rate, I was debating what to do about it. Should I mow over it with my lawnmower? Should I wait until tomorrow and take it down? Should I incorporate it into the kindling for my barbecue? Should I send her an email saying, "Thanks for the flag, it burned really well."? I know it's memorial day, and I know that many of the men that serve in the armed forces view the flag as something sacred... but those men are misguided if they think that. Freedom, that's what America used to be about... you know, the ability to say, I respect what the troops did, but I don't wish to belligerently celebrate our nation as a whole. I might be alone in this thinking, and I would be sad if I was, for it would mean the right-wing brainwashing machine works all too well. At the same time, left wing politics piss me off just as much. I think I'm screwed here. Last election, I voted for a guy from Iowa named john hagelin who is a PhD and had a solid plan for education and economics... he got like 600 votes in the entire country. Meanwhile, 2 relative idiots Gore and Bush fought it out for the majority vote. Now look at the battle we have... Kerry, and Bush... 2 complete morons. We're going to have a hell of a time in the next 4 years, because americans don't realize that party politics suck, and they should vote based on qualifications and solidity of plans, not based upon an elephant or a donkey... fucking morons. The next best excuse is, "the lesser of two evils" These are people that resign themselves to the fact that Americans currently only recognize 2 political parties, and has entrenched itself into a 2 party system, so instead of placing votes where they could build up to make a difference, they instead vote for the least evil of the 2 dominating parties, then boast about not helping the evil one get elected... even though the evil one usually gets elected. I am pretty sure that G W Bush is the most evil... however, I feel a great evil from John Kerry too... I think we're screwed... I'll be voting for someone who has a good plan, and isn't an idiot... that's all from me.

Cool, I am placing my order for 3 5 gallon Carboys, 3 airlocks, lots of yeasts, a large boiling pot, some B-Brite tabs.. some carbonation drops, racking tubes... oh yeah. Why? (all the people not reading my blog won't be asking). I'm going to be making mead! yes, the nectar of the gods. I'm trying to stoke mine up to 15-18% alcohol content. This is going to be a sack mead.. basically a sweet mead. I wish I were a better artisan, but I'm not. I will be starting to metalwork too.. I eventually want to make swords. it'll be cool.
I am taking my first flight lesson on Friday, I think it will be a blast. Imagine.. me... flying!!! whoohooo!

later!

Ug.. the state of local affairs is bleak. These are the phone calls I needed to complete:
Call HVAC guy to set appointment to fix AC.
Call Insurance guy
Call lawn service
Call contractors for deck.

I called the HVAC guy, but he was out... and my insurance guy wasn't in... and I can't figure out what kind of lawn service I need to talk to, the categories are hard to understand. and I don't know where to start for the contractors.

I sat down to write a song last night... I was writing the most putrid, awful excuses for lyrics that anyone may have ever heard... well.. they're not as bad as making a song entirely out of two word phrases from old led zeppelin songs... but it was really bad. Plus, it was so hot in my office... that I couldn't concentrate without getting a headache. I think my brain is broken.

Another morning.. another day when I really don't feel like going to work. I'll go anyway, I'll just drag my feet until I'm late. I spent way too much time working my ass off there, and almost no one notices. Hell... I didn't even get a performance review, and the last thing we need in our department is one more person taking a bunch of classes in the middle of the day, we're already short staffed as it is. I feel like I'm trapped and can't get out. well... on the bright side, I've finished none of the things I meant to do over the course of the year... let's review:
Write a good song [not even started]

Find a college I want to go to [Probably doesn't exist]

Take some good astrophotographs [I can't even get my mount to track]

Lose 30lbs [Hah, I gained 10]

Now I realise on some of my goals I'm monetarily limited. Ifound a couple colleges I'd like to try... but the financial loss if they end up being a farse (like all educational institutions) is very great. I've met more ridiculously stupid people with master's degrees... and more intelligent people with 2 year degrees that just can't get the 4 year... than I ever wanted to... it makes me jaded toward education. And my mount for astronomy... piss poor. It doesn't track correctly, and I really need a higher focal ratio telescope to take sharp up close pictures... which I can't afford.

So, I competed in a guitar competition in highland Park on Tuesday. It was Guitar Center's Guitarmageddon. I haven't touched my guitar since then. I think Blues just sucks the life out of music, all the backing tracks were blues riffs... which don't lead themselves to anything much more than Pentatonic scales.. which I dislike to a great extent. anyway.. let's just say that I came in last, because I did. I should probably quit playing... that's how bad I am... been playing 15 years, and simple techniques are still a challenge to me. I have some great gear, so the sound is cool, but the me part... all bad. I'm also heading out to an astronomy meeting tonight. I'm a member of the lake county astronomical society... it's boring as hell.. I would expect more people with passion there, but it's a bunch of old guys debating on what to do with this 40 year old telescope they inhereted and are restoring. Which is great... but I want to gear about Equatorial mounts that work and don't cost as much as a small car. I want to know about digital imaging, and all sorts of stuff that I've had to teach myself. I want to know how to take a sharp picture of a faint galaxy... how to find M51 without a lot of messing around... how to see distant wonders, that captivate the mind, stir the imagination, and bring back the excitement about going to space, and seeing these wonders more clearly. Anyway, I'm outta here... take care.

Back by popular demand.
Well.. actually.. no one seems to have missed me in any way. in fact.. I feel like I'm being omitted from people's lives. It's odd.. but true... I rarely get mentioned. I guess it hurts more when I get omitted by the people closest to me. Well... I am going to get back to working this job that I don't like.. so that I can continue paying for my house, and stuff... so that I can continue to fade into non-existance.