So here goes! Three mice were sitting at a bar talking about how tough they were. The first mouse slams a shot and says, "I play with mouse traps for fun. I'll run into one on purpose and as it is closing on me, I grab the bar and bench press it 20 to 30 times." And, with that, he slams another shot.
The second mouse slams a shot and says, "That's nothing. I take those poison bait tablets, cut them up, and snort them, just for the fun of it." And, with that, he slams another shot.
The third mouse slams a shot, gets up, and walks away. The first two mice look at each other, then turn to the third mouse and ask, "Where the hell are you going?" The third mouse stops and replies, "I'm going home to shag my pussy."
He found that joke so unbelievably funny, that he laughed, and laughed. I almost couldn't stop him from carrying on so much.
If you've ever heard a cat laugh, it might be one of the most disturbing noises a human could bear witness to. It's like a symphony of squeaks, wheezes, gasps, and vomiting noises. There's also some sort of clicking sound from the jaw that is incredibly unsettling.
It was not long after that he looked at me again, requesting another joke.This time it wasn't going to be easy, making a cat laugh is one of the most difficult tasks someone who is owned by cat can attempt to execute on purpose.
"Okay" I sighed, preparing for the disaster that is yet to come. I mustered my next best joke.
I am not going to repeat the joke here, as I was told it was not good, and also slightly cringey. I will say that he was incredibly not amused by it, and has requested that I refrain from attempting to be funny ever again.